I am 38 days into my maternity leave.

The fact that you can't get shit to balance is your problem. Not my problem that you "can't get anything to work." You had 9 months of notice that I would be taking my mat leave and that someone would need to be able to take over for 12 months.

Oh yes, my competence is finally recognizied. Thanks for blowing sunshine up my ass and sucking up to me.

I am still not coming in to the office.

I can't wait until the remittance is late and we get a $5000 fine.

Then maybe, just maybe, I will come in to save the day. :)

my coworker across the hall has the worste voice ever. she loves to call everyone she knows and talk about her personal life. including being dumped, and just from her side of the story i can tell he wasnt into her. and from the things she says, its probably because she is a crazy biotch!! i seriously would love to strangle her. and i am the nicest person you will ever meet. is it worng to go shut her door if she gets to loud again?? sometimes i am really working!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! A spider just ran across my hand!!!!!!

Dear Boss Lady,

The drama you create each day with your personal Family issues is killing all of us in the department, yes yoru son is in prison for a good reason, he is no boy scout- your grandson has issues because you tell him he does, you hate your husband, so tell him to move, your step kids are a nightmare lose the husband they will go- I am tired of hearing about it over the cube wall we share and so is everyone else- your a manager for gods sake act like one will you!

At a staff meeting today, a colleague shared something that made the big boss happy. Her response:

"Order her an electric stapler!!"

I think she realized how little sense she made as we all gazed back at her with that puzzled 'deer in the headlights' look on our faces.

Does anyone THINK in this dept? God almighty! No one seems to have much of a clue about what goes on outside their damn blinders.

On a positive note, despite the economy going tits up, just been told out team now has a roadmap of work up until 2010/2011

Thats the rest of this year covered, next year and the year after.

Easily

*Starts looking for housing bargains to buy after renting*

Shithead down the hall sleeps almost all day. But when I go to the bathroom, I get accused of texting my friends. WTF

I pick my nose and I never wash my hands after I go to the bathroom..I make fast food.. pay me more and I will try to at least purell once a day!

First thing this morning, I ran into the Doom & Gloom sisters. They were talking about how the world is ending, the economy is just going to get worse, blah blah blah...Hey, the sun is shining, it's Wednesday, you're alive and somewhat healthy. What are you so down about???!!! And, why do you have to drag the rest of us down with you?